I'm Not Fat, I'm Just Fluffy

I started my dating expedition on Match.com. Back then it was really cheap or possibly even free at one point. Now it will cost you $34.99 a month to find your dream mate or nightmare, depends on how things go for you. I joined other sites that were at the time free; Lava Life, Yahoo personals and a few others I don’t think are even around any longer. I was always honest in my profile and tried to be as specific as possible. I never lied about being a Plus Size, Rubenesque, Voluptuous, Phat, Ample, Plump, or Fluffy girl. I never marked the “few extra pounds” box because a few to me is 10 or 15 and there is more than that of me to love. I was confident with myself and if you didn’t like a fluffy girl, you could get to steppin. I also had current pictures. Did you think I wouldn’t notice when you showed up for our first and last date that you were nowhere near 6 feet tall or even this side of 40? I did notice and it did piss me off. If you are lying about that, I wasn’t even interested to know what else you were distorting.

I was definitely naïve when I first started all of this. I was so freaking excited that a boatload of guys was interested in little old me, I hardly knew what to do with myself. The majority of my admirers appeared pretty normal…in the beginning. Some of them wanted to meet right this instant and others wanted full body shots with some cleavage please. I didn’t ask to see pictures of your junk and you wouldn’t be seeing mine…ever. I did learn how to weed them out pretty quickly and got to “know” lots of intriguing people. I knew at some point I would have to take the plunge and actually meet someone and I remember being petrified. I also remember making sure my pepper spray was filled.

I don’t actually remember my first Internet date, or possibly my brain has blocked it out so as not to cause any further trauma. I went on quite a few coffee and let’s meet for a drink dates. I was the One Date Wonder for a long time. I’m still not sure to this day why it was so hard to get past a first date and actually go on a second one. I’m sure it wasn’t me though, it was them.