Everyone Collects Something

I almost went out with a would be wrestler and I say almost because, apparently I wasn't his type. I initiated contact with Hulk and back in the day he was my type. Big, bald, manly white dude. Now I don't even remember his name or what he had to say in his profile...I can't even remember if it was just his picture I liked. So, he messaged me back and we ended up talking on the phone the same night. He sounded like a salt of the earth kind of guy. He had recently moved to Los Angeles because he wanted to become a WWE wrestler. I remember he had a picture of him actually pulling a truck...doesn't get more macho than that. We ended up talking a few times and in one of those conversations he mentioned that he drove a hearse, and not for a living. It was his "regular" car, his transpo and I remember thinking how mysterious and strangely cool that was. He wasn't necessarily Goth but had a "dark" side and what girl doesn't like a little dark, a little bad in her man. We ended up making a date and he was coming to pick me up in the hearse and as I long as I wasn't riding in the back, I was okay with that. A few days before our date we were on the phone and he said that he had just won an auction on Ebay and was excited. I wasn't sure what I thought he was going to tell me he got but, embalming fluid was definitely not it. Yes, he collected embalming fluid. Now, I consider myself pretty open minded but that one threw me for a loop. I had a hard time understanding the fascination, much less having an entire collection. What does one do with it? You can't play with it or share it with your friends. I didn't get it but I had already invested energy and I still thought he was an alright guy. In that same conversation he said something that made me realize he had not seen my photo. When I asked Hulk about it he said he hadn't looked at my picture or my profile, he liked to be surprised. Um, I'm not big on surprises, especially ones on this kind of level. After much discussion I insisted that he look and read. As it turns out, the hearse driving collector of embalming fluids did not find me attractive. Perhaps if I had taken a pic in a casket or one surrounded by my collection of body parts, he would have been more interested. I wasn't really that hurt that he didn't find me fabulous, I was annoyed that he had wasted my time all because he wanted to be surprised.

I still do not care much for surprises or funeral paraphernalia.