Love Is A Battlefield

They say everyone deserves love but I do not necessarily feel the same way. I do not think Charles Manson, Richard Ramirez, or Scott Peterson deserve a little help from Cupid. We all make mistakes, some bigger than others and some are most certainly forgivable. On the other hand, there are many errors in judgment that I could not look past. When you are dating, you have to know where your boundaries are.

I believe I was pretty fortunate when I was looking for adoration on-line. I didn’t come across anyone (at least that I know of) who had committed any felonies or required a probation officer. Macey, has not been quite as fortunate. She came across a couple of men that stick out in my mind.

The first guy was someone Macey was actually excited about…I have made reference to this individual in a different post. They had been communicating for a while and had finally made a date to meet for coffee. He came across as fairly “normal” on their first date and she thought things were going well, and then he dropped the bomb. He told Macey he had something to tell her but could not do it face-to-face; he would go right home and send her an email. She called me on her way home and we came up with all kinds of things it could be; he was married, used to be a female(my personal favorite) or had a history of mental issues. We were not even close. It turned out he was a convicted sex offender and was even wearing an ankle bracelet on their date, but had long pants on and she never saw it. I don’t feel that it’s my place to get into all of the particulars but, he definitely tried to downplay his circumstances and appeared to believe he was a victim of a crappy childhood. I know people that have had far worse childhoods, and are productive citizens who have never been convicted of a felony. If your name comes up on a California sex offenders website, I am really sure I don’t want to date you…regardless of the circumstances. You were convicted and found guilty, that’s enough for me.

The most recent guy was not really a surprise to me. I know this is blatant stereotyping but, this is my blog and I call them like I see them. He looked like he had spent some time going through our judicial system. He and Macey exchanged several emails via a dating site and he finally came clean. He had spent 3 years in prison for a bar fight and apparently his opponent did not fair so well. He did not get into specifics but did try minimize his crime and said that he had a good lawyer who got him a deal. The DA wanted to put him away for 14 years. This says a few things to me…you need anger management, or rehab, and you did more than just get into a bar brawl. He assured Macey that she would “always feel safe” with him and I am sure she would, he could just beat the shit out of anyone bothering her. Personally, I may have been more open to seeing past that had he been a young man when this happened but, he was in his late 40’s and this had happened in the last few years.

As far as I am concerned, neither one of these guys should be on a dating site. They should be trying to get their shit together or at least waiting until you are no longer on parole. The moral of me writing about this is to make people aware and be careful when you are dating, especially on-line. If something feels off, it’s because something is. Don’t give out your personal information until you have at least gotten a feel for someone. Do I think one deserves a second chance and one does not, yes I do…with someone else’s friend.